I admit that I am extremely, self-confessed a hopeless romantic and I have NEVER been in a relationship before. Honestly, I am a bit tired of explaining about the reason behind me being single until now. A lot of friends thinks that I am being too choosy and my family thinks that I have no time to meet someone. Maybe they are right… Maybe I am choosy as to who I want to end up with; to spend my entire life with (yes, I am looking at the possibility of marriage in the near future… I am getting old – I hate to admit that! Haha!)… Maybe I am just plain scared… Maybe I got A LOT of EXCUSES.
What do you think?
First, define the meaning of relationship to me. Yeah, it is like find your better half in a totally complete stranger. The guy (or girl) that you haven’t met yet somehow you got this “connection” going. Crap! I don’t know how on earth will I write a blog about this. I have absolutely NO EXPERIENCE to this such thing, yet here I am, typing away. I guess I need someone to read and help explain what I am going through as of the moment.
Please pardon me for my ramble/scramble blog. My head is a mess right now, so this blog might be a mess too.
You might be asking WHY am I still single up to now (FYI, I am 31). Going back to my teenage years, I was not an ace student. Being involved in some extra curricular activities in school, hanging out with my friends and concentrating on my studies are one of my top 3 priorities. Also, I studied in an all-girls’ school so you might say that it is also one of my reasons (although we have what we called a “boy-girl” interaction, conducted by our school yearly – wherein we get to met guys from other all-boys’ school and interact with them). Fast forward to working at my first job in a multinational pharmaceutical company. By that time, I have already learn the basics of going out after work, meeting guys and probably going on dates. But no, my everyday routine is very much similar when I was in school: house-work-house. I am never the type of person that goes at the bars to get a drink just to cap-off the work day, and go out on weekends to meet up with friends. I am what you called a home buddy – the person who just likes to stay at home all the time. Well, I get to relax and sleep whenever I want, I can cook and eat without the hassel of spending too much and worrying about my budget.
But now, I got a dilemma.
Lately, I have been thinking about relationships. I guess you can say that at my age, I have all the right to think about those things. Again, I am not getting any younger any more and I guess I wanted to check as to if there’s someone out there that is destined for me. At first, I was a believer of destiny but someone told me that I should be the one who is controlling my destiny. Not all destinies have a happy ending, right? Is it really too late for me to find Mr. Right? I keep on saying to my friends that I want Mr. Right to find me instead. But what if I have already met him, yet I just ignore that chance? I am so confused right now! I really wanted to try dating yet I am shy, reluctant and most especially, scared because this is a new experience for me.
What about you? Have you ever encounter this kind of enigma? Tell me about it!