The enigma of a relationship

I admit that I am extremely, self-confessed a hopeless romantic and I have NEVER been in a relationship before. Honestly, I am a bit tired of explaining about the reason behind me being single until now. A lot of friends thinks that I am being too choosy and my family thinks that I have no time to meet someone. Maybe they are right… Maybe I am choosy as to who I want to end up with; to spend my entire life with (yes, I am looking at the possibility of marriage in the near future… I am getting old – I hate to admit that! Haha!)… Maybe I am just plain scared… Maybe I got A LOT of EXCUSES.

What do you think?

First, define the meaning of relationship to me. Yeah, it is like find your better half in a totally complete stranger. The guy (or girl) that you haven’t met yet somehow you got this “connection” going. Crap! I don’t know how on earth will I write a blog about this. I have absolutely NO EXPERIENCE to this such thing, yet here I am, typing away. I guess I need someone to read and help explain what I am going through as of the moment.

Please pardon me for my ramble/scramble blog. My head is a mess right now, so this blog might be a mess too.

You might be asking WHY am I still single up to now (FYI, I am 31). Going back to my teenage years, I was not an ace student. Being involved in some extra curricular activities in school, hanging out with my friends and concentrating on my studies are one of my top 3 priorities. Also, I studied in an all-girls’ school so you might say that it is also one of my reasons (although we have what we called a “boy-girl” interaction, conducted by our school yearly – wherein we get to met guys from other all-boys’ school and interact with them). Fast forward to working at my first job in a multinational pharmaceutical company. By that time, I have already learn the basics of going out after work, meeting guys and probably going on dates.  But no, my everyday routine is very much similar when I was in school: house-work-house. I am never the type of person that goes at the bars to get a drink just to cap-off the work day, and go out on weekends to meet up with friends. I am what you called a home buddy – the person who just likes to stay at home all the time. Well, I get to relax and sleep whenever I want, I can cook and eat without the hassel of spending too much and worrying about my budget.

But now, I got a dilemma.

Lately, I have been thinking about relationships. I guess you can say that at my age, I have all the right to think about those things. Again, I am not getting any younger any more and I guess I wanted to check as to if there’s someone out there that is destined for me. At first, I was a believer of destiny but someone told me that I should be the one who is controlling my destiny. Not all destinies have a happy ending, right? Is it really too late for me to find Mr. Right? I keep on saying to my friends that I want Mr. Right to find me instead. But what if I have already met him, yet I just ignore that chance? I am so confused right now! I really wanted to try dating yet I am shy, reluctant and most especially, scared because this is a new experience for me.

What about you? Have you ever encounter this kind of enigma? Tell me about it!


4 thoughts on “The enigma of a relationship

  1. Hiya! Check out my blog TightLinked… And feel free to contact me.

    I am a true believer that you can’t really go looking for a partner, it will just come. You need to be in the right place at the right time and it won’t be a forced or rushed process. Online dating is a great way to meet people and especially if you’re shy as you can be behind a screen whilst you get to know someone, rather than the face to face reality approach..?

    Is there a certain type of man you’re looking for?….. If so, are you looking in the right places to find him (for example- a business man, you’d probably find him in a nice bar… Or a sportsman, you’d find him at the gym or a sporting event etc etc….)

    Hope this helps and please get in contact if you would like any more info.



    1. Hi! Thank you so much for taking your time in reading my blog 🙂 At first, I wasn’t sure if someone will be interested in this piece (of my thought). I have been think about the “type” thing a lot and I guess that your preferences are changing as you get old. My type is somewhat generic (if I get into every detail, I might fill up 2 pages): hardworking, same age to 5 years older than me, understanding, patient, humorous, and loving. In my case, I do admit that I am extremely shy and tends to hide behind my computer (or laptop for this matter) screen. I used to hang out at coffee shops, hoping that I may get to find Mr. Right. Hanging out in a nice bar? Ah… The problem is that I get too shy going to such place like those (of course there’s a “stereo-typing” thing about bars). I tend to see myself as hopeless case 🙂 Well, I hope there is still “hope” in me 🙂

      Thanks once again.


      1. Where do you hang out? What do you enjoy?… I suggest that maybe you should do the things you enjoy and stay in the places you like and feel most comfortable in … and someone for you to meet will hopefully be in the same place at the same time as you– which means you don’t have to go out of your comfort zone or feel shy as you’ll be in your comfort zone and the places you’re most confident!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Funny because I used to hang out at either a bookstore or in a coffee shops (the likes of Starbucks and CBTL). But lately, I haven’t been to those places because of work (well, I tried not to blame my work since I need to earn a living) and serious case of heavy traffic in the city (time-killer!). Well, I hope that you are right. That I get to meet someone who is “right” for me in those places. but sometimes, I tend to think that maybe I need to get out of my comfort zone.


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