Emotional roller coaster

Its been a while since I last wrote here. I was busy looking for answers to my never-ending questions. I should not have dwell upon this and instead should look for ways to be happy and contented, right? Yet how come, at the end of the day, I’m not happy?

It has been months since I was vacant and I have tried my best to focus on looking for a new path. Again, I’m really ready for a change in environment and start anew. To be honest, I’m feeling very depressed and frustrated as of writing. These passing days, I felt so helpless and useless. My family keeps on telling me that maybe this isn’t the right time for me. My question is: when is the right time? I have put my despair to God, yet I know that I will be the one to search and learn all the answers that I seek.

Aside from my roller-coaster career dilemma, I still have my future to worry about. I admit that I really enjoy my life as a single. I don’t need to worry about my partner which might add to my stress in life. But somehow, as I lay down at night, I keep on thinking: is there someone out there for me? This is might be the reason why I am in this kind of phase. Could this be what they called mid-life crisis? If it is, I want to end this! I mean, this phase is driving me crazy! Here I am, starting to question if I will stay single for the rest of my life. This is added to the confusion in my head right now.

What should I do now?

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